This is a complete esoteric idea. Completely crazy. At least you might think so. Nonetheless I wanna document this.
I am tipsy. Let’s admit it. I am tipsy. Had a good night with my friends. What I want to talk about is.. My way back home.
Oh, judge me. I was walking back home. And I saw a black cat. And the thought process was- black cats are bad ive heard all about them. And i kept thnking in my head; black cat dont cross my road. Please black cat dont cross my road.
And it didnt cross my road.
I kept walking and then i stopped. Cause I wanted to be nice to the cat. Show it appreciation for not crossing my road.
The way I did it? I beckoned it to come to me. It came. I tickled it and petted it and gave it love. In my mind, i thabked it, and then i enjoyed the fact thaf it was hacing fun. Yay. It was happy. It was rollibg around, showing my it’s belly, givibg me it’s head to pat and pet. And theb, it meowrd.
There was a weird man walking across us. And i just thought-towards it- saying: its okay. Not ginna harm us. As the footstpes got closer, the black cat walked towarfs it; the man gave it a digustubg stare and walked away. And and that point, i thought, kitty is gonna go away. But it came back. It warded off the man and came backk..and started rolling around again. Awh. And then i thanked it in my head because, maybe, just maybe, it understood my concerns.
Then i thought in my head: okay kitty, im gonna go home now. But know that i appreciate yiu…do you wanna walk with me?
I walked; it followed. Ir followrd me all the way. Teasing me and waljing alingside me. I, mysekf; crossed the cat’s path many times, on purpose. But when I walked alongside it, it never crossed mine.
I walked under my block. There was an old womab, who was collectibg, or more like selecting garbage. In singaporw if you collect 1kg of tin cans, you get paid for it when you sell ir to some some recycling place.
Abd theb, the cat twirled around my legs gracefully and theb disappeared.
I was sad. It disappeared. I was devastated. I thoyght it understood me or… Rather, connected witj me. But alas, it webt away. To the old lady. And then I dont quite remmeber what I thoyght of, but i was quite sad the cat left me cause we had a connection as it warded me from the old man and followef me till there. But it’s gonw now. And then, i got occupied by an ant
Yes, an ant. It was scurrying around my feet and my flats. Ans it was restkess. And then it got onto my leg. I thought- lemme try this shit again. The ant scurried onto my calf. I thiught; listen i dont wanna squash you, get off. And sooner than i expected, it travelled the other direction towards the groubd.
And it teased me, the ant, scurryibg around my feet. I beckoned it, i tried at least, i thought; okay listen, come till my knee and fuck off.. Come. But if you further ill squash you. The ant then slowly, travelled onto one of my flats, left flat- and just travelled in circles. And theb, it left- rejectef my offer. I was onky wabtbg to experiencr how it is to have an ant consciously on for onto the leg…
It left. It wrbt so far away. I got annoyed agai. Getting rejecyex my a kitfy and then an ant? What. That’s sad.
Then i remmered kitty. Kitty was missing. Kitty was gobe behing the old lady. I walked and tried to find kitty.
I took a few steps- all sad- tryibv to find kitty. And then i saw it was comubg towards me. I quickly rushed back to ghe seat and continued being sad- cause kitty was comibg back. But it knrw i was pretending already. And then kitgy walked throyfh my legs, did a little head flick in the air- knowing now it had the emotiobal upper hand and went back ti the old lady.
And thwn it dawned ob me: everything is transient. We say it so much, in words, but never to ubderstand the true meaning of it.
Judge me; jydgr me all you wabt; but in that moment; where ut warded off tge evil governer odius and followed me under the block, that was real. In that moment: I FELT it was real. But now that moment is gone. Kitty is gone. Kitty will no longer connect with me cause it’s found a bettet connection. But in that moment it was real.
See, naysayers might argue i was firztly drunk and secondly, it was coincidental. Well JUDGE ME AGAIN BITCHES, i thibk it was real.
But then, i realised. Everything id trabsiebt. All the connectuons we have, they are transient. Cahse they happen in the moment. That moment is real, and that moment goes off in an instant. We hang on to the memory of that moment cause that was a genuine moment. But the truth is, it’s gone. It’s pazsed.. It’s transpired. Tjat momeny is never gonna come back.
So why, hang on to it?
I haf a momebt with kitty, it unferztood and warded off evil governer odius and walked me home. Thank you kittty. I appreciate it. Now youre gone. Even the ant. It knew i was playing a gamr in my mind.
Things are so ‘passibg’. Wr shoukd just expeiernece it and let go, bt hey, we are humans, we do falter. I cant blame us. We camt blame us we always wabt to hold onto things which make us happy and secure.
Truth is, nothibv is secure. Look, kitty left me. Im still sad about that but hey, i.also understand that i have ti let it go. Okay kitty, if you are happpy witb the old womab- fine- be happy. Ill be sad that you left me- but it’s okay, human that i am, ill work on it and ill learn to let it go.
My point: not the obssession of the kitty. (the kitty was cutr), my point is my revelation i experience through kitty (thabk yoi kitty)
Let go of your sorrows, your worries, your whatever negatives, cause hey, no- not worth it- caude kitty is gonna leave you anyway cause it doesbt understand or comprehend as much as you. You’re bigger than that. So ley it go.
It’s crazy. I’m crazy. This whole post is craxy. But i wabt to belueve it was real- at least the realisation was real. I wabt to believe i have a connection with the consciousness of animals- hence the isocentric idea- but, maybe not. Im not denying ot agreeibg to anything; cause there’s no extremist view- there’s always a balancr.
The only thibg i can do, is state- how i feel, what i experienced. And that is real to me, hencr not debatable- cause bitch, you aint me. And opinions aint debatable aboit, they are only discussed. Makes sense?
There is always a balance. Never an extremist view. You cant.say smoking is completely bad, because babe PRESPECTIVE WISE, i xan debate smoking is good.
Yknoe what i mean? There is NEVER AN ABSOLUTE ANSWER in the matters of ‘life’. Maybe mathematics. BUT NEVER LIFE. Cause there is always a balance in nature.
Naysayerd may argue again, that hey bro- some issues we must have an extremist view. For example: abortion. You cant fucking a view where youre ‘okay’ with abortiob. Fuck you. It’s either a yes or a no. You have it or tou dobt. There’s no grey area to that. And likewise, there’s no grey area to MANY ASPECTS IN LIFE. THERE ARENT.
But yet there are many issues which allow the grey area?
Do you see that the ‘issues’ itself become an issue of balance? Get it get it?
(btw, since i am high i would like to take crefit for all the naysayers arguments- when im alone, ill always debate witb myself inside my mind. Im a weird child. But as the mutual ‘judge’ i always try to be neutral, bt there will alwats be a side you will agree with a LARGER EXTENT. See that? The larger ‘extent’ is still trying to find the balancr xayse you dint wanna completely with the other side but you knoe some of the points from the other side arr.completely revelant….after a point im lost in tryinh to ecplain myself. But fuck that, i understand mysekf.)
Im still hifh. Woah. I havent typed straight for so ling. And this is suh a long post. Im gonba enjpy reading this tomotrow.
And secretly, (please know that I’m not mad at you anymore. I understand), whatever it is, THANK YOU.
Thank you black kitty. You came as a very obscure revrlation and i appreciate it.